“There is nothing I could care less about than what people think I am.”

Ben Harper

I think that it is human nature to want to live up to the expectations of others, especially if the “other” is a person we care about. Observing this in others, but only having experienced this from my point of view, I will make the sweeping generalization that this is especially difficult for woman. The clichéd, but nonetheless accurate, aspiration to be a “good girl”.

A while ago, I was watching an interview with Ben Harper (who I lo-o-ove), and he was asked if he ever feels limited by what people think he is, after all of his success. Without missing a beat, he rolled out the quote above. It immediately resonated with me as something to aspire to.

What is left after we put our aspiration to become the model of perfection, the “good girl”?If you really knew me, you would know that I am a woman who has a wonderful life: a good job, great partner, lovely home…many blessings. But you would also know that while I try my damnedest to present an edgy, assertive, funny but no nonsense image, under all of that is a girl waiting for her gold star. And that has been really pissing me off lately. Because I feel a little bit like I am living my life according to someone else’s plan, someone else’s idea of the right path. And greedily, I want this life to be all mine.

So I am trying to be a little quieter, look beyond that affirmation-seeking layer, and listen for that diminutive voice, the one that guides me to my hearts’ desire, and encourage that voice to get louder.

I now have that podcast set to that exact spot so whenever I open it, that’s the first thing I hear. Watch the interview below. I am astounded by how the right bits of wisdom hit you when you really need them.