Category Archives: bad behaviour

Surviving the Gremlin Zombie Uprising

When we were kids, my siblings and I would have races to see who was the fastest. My sister, being of the compact and strong variety, inevitably kicked my scrawny, awkward ass, every time. (Unless I cheated and kicked or otherwise distracted her to get a jump start.)

That country-kid sibling rivalry training served me well this week as I spent a lot of time outrunning and outgunning my gremlins.

Gremlins, (or saboteurs) are concepts which embody a group of thought processes and feelings which maintains the status quo in our lives. It often appears to be a structure that protects us, but in fact, it prevents us from moving forward.

I have spent a lot of time trying to get to know my gremlins, understand what they think is important, and trying to separate the gremlin voice from my own. In Creating Spaces, we go through the exercise of putting the saboteur in a jar to both recognize those voices and to buy time and space to let our own voice speak. But the things that I needed to do, absolutely must do, get-to-it-gunsinger things, had my saboteurs rattling their jars, rising up and making a whole lot of noise.

Tea time was over. My gremlins had turned into zombies. I could tell because there was a lot of them, and they were blindly coming for me, grappling, and chanting the same messages (think: “brains, braaaaaains” but more  “suuuck. faaaaail. feeeeear.”).

No time to live in the gremlin swamp, it was quite clear that the grem-zombs were after my brain and I had other plans. Thank goodness my love of zombie movies prepared me for such an event and I knew I had to:

1. Be fast or be eaten.
Run. Run faster than the zombies: set up the list of must-dos and start knocking them down. Don’t stop to see if, maybe, the zombies want to chat about their feelings because they will EAT YOUR BRAINS. Keep moving or you are done.

2. Load up on ammo.
Typically, shotguns, chainsaws, even garden shears are pretty effective in zombie attacks. Blam! Shoot the zombies in the face with truths and stories that are the opposite of their main messaging. (Aaaand run.) *Chainsaw noises* (no idea.) Cut zombies down to size by repeating YOUR messaging. (Messaging of my week: Just Keep Opening Doors)

3. Find shelter and zombie-killing teammates.
Where can you go, who can you turn to, when zombies attack? Bar the door to the office, stay away from zombie-filled neighborhoods (virtual or real), and call reinforcements. My coach, best-friend, zias, and mentors all got calls this week and helped hold back the brain-eating monsters.

From the lack of moaning and scraping at the windows, it appears the zombies have found other things to feast on for now. I am celebrating survival by taking in some sun, opening a bottle of wine and trying to get zombie-goo out of my hair.

How would you survive a zombie gremlin attack?