I was working a heavy ostriches metaphor into this post: how in cartoons they bury their heads in the sand but how in reality they are super fast and lay the largest egg of any living bird. But that really is what wikipedia is for. Read to your heart’s delight about ostriches there.

Hiding behind that metaphor was the real message: that we all bury our heads in the sand at times. Especially change-makers, leaders and creators, who face big choices and scary turns on their un-blazened trails. It’s comforting, muffled and quiet in the sand, so who can blame us?

But here’s the problem: refusing to think about an unpleasant situation, hoping that it will improve so that you will not have to deal with it rarely works in the way you want it to AND it burns as much energy as actually making a decision and taking action.

It leads to burnout all of its own. Anxiety. Guilt. Ultimately: giving into perfectionism, procrastination, and really, fear, does not a trail-blazer make: you know this.

So here’s what I suggest:

• Identify areas of your life and work where your head is in *ahem* the sand.
• Pull it out.
• Brush your little peepers clean, take a few deep breaths.
• Look around and really see what’s around you.

There might be a whole landscape, big puzzle pieces, or oncoming vehicles coming at you. Look for those things and feel your feet in your shoes and take action. A micromovement. Start a conversation. Write yourself a note. Do Something. Do your thing.

What is the thing that you are burying your head in the sand about right now? Pulling it out just might be the just thing that clears the next few yards of your trail.

Tally-ho!

Welcome to 2012! With its snowy beginnings here in the Okanagan Valley, there is a bit of extra inclination to hibernate near fluffy blankets and fireplaces and that means more time to consider the year that stretches out in front of us, like a giant white canvas.

Yikes. What is more full of potential, but riles up the gremlins, than a blank canvas or page?

And so I wonder, what will the year hold for you? Will you set an intention or theme to be your North Star through what lies ahead? What are your greatest wishes for yourself this year?

In all of that wondering, I went back to the beginning. To the beginning of where I began to map out last year’s journey: the Creating Spaces Workbook. My pencils and markers are out and I am joyfully playing through that process again, will you join me?

The workbook is available for free download, so why not give it a try? It’s got to be a lot less scary than a bright white canvas.

With marker-smudges on my fingertips,

P.S. Here is a little artful music to keep you company.

It has been a heck of a great year at Gunsinger Coaching, complete with big learnings, fun projects and, of course, hella good coaching work being done by all. I just want to take a quick moment on this sunny Sunday December afternoon to say a ginormous thank you to everyone who worked with Gunsinger Coaching this year, every single collaborator and mentor, every cheerleader and teacher.

To celebrate the holidays this year, I am personally choosing to celebrate Grinchmas! (It’s not as cranky as it sounds, at all!) If you would like to follow what’s shaking over the holidays and join in the discussion, come by my personal blog: I would be delighted to hear from you.

One other thing to note is the changes that will be coming up in December and January. Gunsinger Coaching will be expanding to include the work we do to support tech and creative businesses, so look forward to a similar look and feel, but a way bigger platform and impact. (Special thanks to Lucas Media who are supporting us in this build!)

Happy holidays, Merry Grinchmas and thank you so much for your unfailing support.

It’s Muse-day Tuesday and we rock Muse-day as both a noun and a verb: thinking and pondering what is inspiring us right now. And what is inspiring me is Baz Luhrmann’s “Sunscreen”, parts of it keep popping into my consciousness and I just had to share it with you.

What is inspiring you on this beautiful Muse-day afternoon?

Yesterday, I received word that I successfully completed certification and am officially a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach. Amidst my happy dancing, I realized that, as hard as I worked to complete the program, my tribe worked even harder supporting me through the process: through my doubts, fears, successes and failures they held my hand, kicked my ass, cheer-led, offered help and more.

To this tribe of amazing friends, family, clients, readers, supporters and colleagues, I extend my deepest gratitude and devoted heart. And I wish you much more love and success:

Success

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love love love.

Cynthia

a cottage: not a prison. broken down walls, nonetheless.

I want to bring my creativity into my work.

I want to feel more confident and powerful.

I want to change the way I feel about my body. I want to do work I feel passionate about. I want stronger relationships.

Or even:  I don’t know what I want, but it’s not this.

It’s no small thing when someone says that they want something in their lives to change.

My coaching clients do a lot of hard work to get from where they are to where they want to be, and that work isn’t always in the form of action (going, doing, getting, running, higher, faster, now!). The hardest work seems to be in the shifting, the choosing and affirming new perspectives, the being and the standing up into what they want.

I recently completed with a client, who put it quite simply: “I had built my own prison!”

She was talking about the process of acknowledging, examining and letting go of the stories that kept her stuck. The tall tales she told herself which built steel bars, and doors that locked tight (complete with guards carrying automatic rifles). A prison that was built of: That’s the way it has to be. They call it work for a reason. You can’t do what you love. I am not [fill-in-the-blank] enough. Other people can do that, because they are [fill-in-the-blank] and I am not. You are a dreamer, come back to reality.

From the prison, she could smell the warm air of possibility and the sweet notes of her heart’s desire, but her arms could not reach out to grab onto these things. For months, we sat together on the floor of that prison, looking around and describing what it was made of. Brick-by-brick, she looked at the stories and chose: to believe something different. She choose the way she wanted to see the world by choosing which stories would stay and which would go.

I had built my own prison.

And we all do. The key that unlocks the door is listening to the stories we tell ourselves and then making the choice to either continue to believe them or to choose something different. Shifting from: They Call it Work for a Reason, to: My Work is a Joyful Exploration, opened up possibility, curiosity, play, and just fit my client like a glove. (You can tell by the sparkle in her eyes.)

On this July afternoon, I wonder: what stories are holding you prisoner? And if you chose, what would the new story be?

a little kindness goes a long way: a love note to myself.

What would happen if today you spent the day being purposefully nice to yourself? If you treated yourself like you treat your best friend: with kindness, gentleness, humour and deep love. If you treated yourself like a road trip partner, occasionally checking in to see if you are okay and if you need anything. Or even like the neighbour that you run into occasionally (the one from art class that tells great stories) and stopped to listen and really see yourself?

What if for one day, you treated yourself like a houseguest that you really adore, and went about filling your rooms with lavender and your suitcases full of jam?

Make your inside voices match your outside voices: start by being purposefully nice to yourself today.

*******************

Update: Reflections on my first full day of intentional kindness are up on my personal blog, The Living Dreamboard.

As a single cog, the mandate is clear: follow the objectives, leadership, and direction of the machine. Work hard to do your job well. Your job is a small part of the overall machine’s work, but every cog counts. Don’t worry, little cog, the machine will take care of you: just keep turning. You can slip into auto-pilot, little cog, and everything will be fine. You don’t need to think about it: the machine will tell you what you need to do. And it will remind you and evaluate you on that too!

Not a bad gig, little cog. Not bad at all.

But…what if you stopped turning with the gear?

If you jumped off and out. Stood in your shoes. Decided what is important. Thought about your visions for your life and your work. Saw the opportunities all around you, even the ones that have been drowned out by the soundtrack of the machine. What if you really made choices and took action?

Your relationship to the machine changes.

It is so easy, to slip on a little cog-hat and disappear: head down, eyes averted, drifting along. But you have already felt the rumblings, haven’t you? The little-cog-that-could has questions percolating and aches for a deep stretch of long-forgotten muscles.

Today, will you open up to those questions? Will you create a space where the answers can form?

Will you choose to hold yourself as separate from the machine?

Now, I was not an athletic kid by any stretch of the imagination (all knees and elbows and general lack of co-ordination), but in the last few years I have learned to love running. My iphone has made it significantly more enjoyable with Nike + GPS and some great playlists, and now living in the mountains with a lake nearby helps too.

But I remain stunned by the intensity of athletes who run ultra marathons: the idea of running for those distances and that amount of time is whoa-inducing.

Love this video (sent to me by one of my fabulous clients) and the direct comparison between committing to something like a (whoa!) ultra marathon to committing to your ultra-mara-LIFE. Specifically:

• Leaving it ALL out there or not going out there at all.

• Every time you hit a wall, you have a decision to make: find away to go around it, find a door, or quit. And the thing is, once you get through a wall: everything resets.

Those runners sure are something, don’t you think?

One of my favourite quotes is from a song by the cooler-than-cool Ben Harper (the new album is fantastico, btw) and I carry a little note with me as a reminder: “I would rather find out who you are than who you’re not.”

For me and for you, I want to take a stand: to choose to love the hell out of who we are, and to drop-kick the notions of who we should be.

Yes, this has to do with radical self-acceptance, but it also has to do with the lie of small, of not being x or y enough, of using comparisons as an excuse to not go out and get yours.

i was talking with a passionate and inspiring man about taking the next steps in his business (he knew what they were and why the steps were important) but he got hung up on what he wasn’t. Specifically: he wasn’t formally educated, a shark, and calculated and unemotional.  The things that he saw as lack compared to his competition were so much of the magic he brought to the business:
- years of experience and practice fuelled by passion.
- a heart-based business that speaks to his community.
- open ears and discussion with his customers about their needs.
- and I could go on.

I wanted to jump up and down hearing this man explain to me (a convert, a client, a fan of his art) the reasons why he felt small. He feels small, but he is changing people’s lives, creating a thriving tribe-based business, and having an impact on the world that many dream of.

So, let’s roll around in our collective and individual awesome. Why are people, projects, clients, small children and animals drawn to you? What do you really care about? What are you great at? What do you love to do?

These are the things that will define your personal and professional success. Who cares that you didn’t do laundry this week. Forget that you are not a doctor. That sometimes you need a break from your kids. Oh, and that you are not a waif.

We get it. You are human. Pssst…the rest of us might be too.

Please know this: it is not about fitting in. It is about standing up and for the big, beautiful, weird, wonderful, freak-of-nature that you are. We like that person a lot and can’t wait to see more of them.